Some goats can sing, but this one can’t.

Having a set goal to post every Tuesday has had an upside and a downside. The upside is, I can’t make myself put my posts off indefinitely on the grounds that I really should learn how to fix the layout and formatting first. The downside is, I don’t put my posts off on the grounds that I really should learn how to fix the layout and formatting first. I’ve had an offer of assistance, but I have a hard time taking it because a decade ago, I could jump into a piece of software and learn the ins and outs all by myself and come away feeling pretty smart. It’s incredibly hard to accept that I am no longer computer savvy when I WAS. There are just so many options in everything now that my brain takes one look at it and makes that sound a mosquito hitting a bug zapper makes. However, it’s pretty ridiculous to have been posting for a month feeling guilty every time I log on and realize it’s virtually unnavigable. So one of my goals now is to spend some solid time looking around and learning how to set up menus and everything else, and to accept help if I can’t work it out when I really give it a solid try.

I was thinking things through in the shower today, (sometimes, I swear, it’s the only truly quiet moments I get in the day) mostly thinking about how frustrated I was about the degree and type of my progress since starting this blog. I’ve accomplished things, and I’m proud of those things, but there have been days that I didn’t do anything that could have been marked off a checklist. Sometimes I’ve had the physical strength, but like a car without a battery, there wasn’t enough mental strength to spark that perfectly functional engine into running. Or I may not have the physical strength to get to my to-do list, but I keep putting off my mental tasks until I can check off the physical because I had told myself the up and about should happen first. Today, stuck in a loop of “Well, I did some good things, but…” I suddenly had the thought, “So much for what you can’t do, how much time have you spent thinking about what you can do?”

This probably seems like an abrupt leap when it’s typed out like this, but I love sayings. I love words, and the things that end up sayings have a real knack for sticking in the ol’ braincase. There’s a saying that Mercedes Lackey adapted and used in one of her books that says, “You shouldn’t attempt to teach a goat to sing. It will waste your time, hurt your ears, and annoy the goat.” I love that one, especially since the next line is equally good. “I can tell you without fear of contradiction that the goat is getting annoyed.” On the other hand, things like, “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right” get under my skin so much. There’s truth there, and there’s no question that for many people they’re inspiring and I think that’s fantastic. The fact is, though, “can’t” sometimes applies. Rather than trying to teach my kids or myself never to say the word “can’t”, I’ve been trying to say instead that “can’t” should never be the end of the sentence. It should whenever possible be followed with, “but I can…”

I realized in my little quiet moment today that despite starting this blog with the intent to show how flexible and forgiving growth can really be, even with people who don’t feel like they’d know “normal” if it came up and stole their grilled cheese, (I like butchering sayings, too.) I have persistently and repeatedly measured my own little goat successes by how well I’m learning to sing. And yes. This goat is getting annoyed. I really want to take that parallel further and make some inspirational statement on how my other goal for the week is to focus on using my strengths to get things done instead of dragging myself around by my weaknesses, but, “So I will now proceed to eat everything I see and headbutt anyone who gets in my way!” Doesn’t seem to strike the right note somehow.